Broken
by Doctor Madwoman
Summary: The faith of the White Witch, and how it changes with her over her life.


Hope

Disclaimer: If I did own Jadis, chances are we'd know more about her than we did the entirety of Narnia.

Summary: A look at Jadis' faith throughout her life.

Note: Which part of this was stolen from Celtic history? Try and guess. Fledge, you aren't allowed to compete, since you already know.

And, finally, I would like to thank Fledge. For she is a wonderful person. And that is all.

When Jadis was a girl, new to swordplay and the archer's breathless patience, she would drive her instructor mad when she wound her prayer beads around the grip of her practice sword.

"Why in Taunli's name do you dishonor your blade so, Princess? It is not a toy, not something to be _decorated_! By the Red Tides, if you were out in the field they could get you killed with their rattling!" the older woman fumed. Jadis could still remember how the retired General's face would grow hard as stone with impatience, her face flushing red every time Jadis delivered her customary retort.

"I like to have them with me, General Darhu. So that I might thank the Great Mother when I am victorious, and pray for the souls of the fallen. I wish to be closer to Her."

"Bah! Take them off, your Highness, and then tell those blasted priestesses to stop filling your skull with such soft spirited nonsense. The Mother Unseen is all about us, we need not sit in battle gore and pinch beads to be close to Her."

Jadis had liked that particular idea, and had modified her prayers accordingly. But she still kept her prayer beads with her at all times, fingering them and meditating, thinking, speaking silently to the great goddess that had created All.

~0~

When King Rael of Bramandin had murdered Jadis' daughters, she had buried her old prayer beads along with the few charred bone fragments she had been able to salvage from the heap of black ash that had once been two lovely, lively little girls.

Her Olwen, her Inanna.

They'd been caught in the pleasure gardens of their mother's own Palace, and had been brought before Bramandin's King, as well as the Kings of Felinda and Sorlis. There, in a country far from home, they were flogged, raped, and then publicly burned in the market square. And while Jadis' daughters had screamed and writhed as the flames ate at their white flesh, Rael and his allies had sat upon their thrones and smiled.

One hour. If she had come but one hour sooner, she might have saved them. She might have held them before her on her horse as she spirited them away from that terrible place.

Instead, she'd knelt before the blackened remains of the stake, her hands smudged with her daughters, her heart and mind blank of everything save for an ocean of grief and hate.

She prayed, oh, how she had prayed that she would come in time to save her daughters. With every mote of strength and faith she had, she'd begged Mother Taunli to lend speed to her horse, to make her own feet swift and sure…

…_Olwen, my little darling, Inanna, my star of the morning…_

Taunli had betrayed Jadis.

And for that, Jadis never again prayed to Her.

~0~

Taunli did not exist.

Not anymore.

What the Great Mother had made, Jadis had destroyed with but one word.

Looking out over the red desolation she had wrought over her once beloved land, Jadis had smiled absently to herself and rolled the Deplorable Word over her tongue one time more;

"Amen."

~0~

Today, Jadis sits in weak spring sunshine, working her toes into the chilly mud of the Great River's bank. Beside her sits a Lion who is far more than he seems, his mane golden and glorious, his scent wild and sweet. His eyes are closed, and for that the Witch is grateful, for her newly reclaimed soul is still tender and raw. One glance into his terrible, beautiful eyes would rend her to pieces, leave her frightened and enraptured.

He is a Lion, but not. He is, Jadis thinks, an Agent of Light. A Being who carries truth, justice and honor to all the worlds, mending and building and saving the lives he touched.

Jadis looks at Aslan from the corner of her eyes, pensive as she takes him in. She is not certain what he is…but her gives her hope.

Her faith is gone from her, and will be for the rest of her immortal life.

Hope, though…hope is enough.

No, I have no idea where this came from. I suppose I've always been curious about Jadis' religion and how it figured in her life.

Tell me what you thought, offer con crit or even flames if you should choose. I'm slightly worried about the tenses, so if you could help there I'd be most grateful.

Tootles,

Doc


End file.
